"What do you mean!" My mother always had the habit of screaming at me, even for the slightest of reasons. Fortunately, I was prepared for the outburst. My phone was at least six inches away from my ear.
"I meant, you did everything in your power to keep me away from him, for the barest of reasons. You committed what was tantamount to breaking the law to keep your secret. And why? Because you were so inexperienced with men that you freaked out at the first chance. Well, guess what. Many men did and still do similar things, and there is nothing wrong with it. You now run around with anyone who can unzip his pants at the first signs of availability. You didn't even have the nerve to tell me any of this to my face. You think you might be forward thinking, but you are really just an uppity bi..."
"Don't go there." She interrupted my tirade with the faintest of whispers, another one of her talents.
I hold my tongue for a few seconds, waiting for her to offer any counterpoints to my argument. I know she can't come up with any. She can try, but she will fail, again.
"You stole my family from me. You stole opportunity from me. You stole candy money from me. Yes, I found out, but I never wanted to bring it up. You stole my history from me. And now, you are trying to steal my future. You know, my father was painting a picture of your old Beretta before he died; I'm sure of it. He still loved you, even after all this time. Even after being married to another woman and an actual father to a son. He moved on, but he still held onto the past."
"You are being ungrateful to me," she finally spoke up. "I raised you the best I could. Maybe I could've tried to get you more things. I did the best I could. I had to keep you away from him and his family. They were wrong for us. All their money did was fuel a life of weirdness. Sure, we didn't have too much, but we got by. Maybe if your grandma actually pitched in some of that money she left you sooner, things would have been different. She was the real greedy one there."
"That money wasn't hers." As soon as I said it, I knew I was going to be in trouble. I went on anyway. "My dad's dad had found her and had set up some sort of trust fund account to help me out, if she ever got back in touch with you."
"What? No, she would never have done that! Not after I told her about everything. She would have given the money back, or to me when we were the worse off."
"She didn't. Instead, she stole off the interest in the account whenever she could. If she have died any sooner, you would have gotten all the money. A little later, and the money would have reverted to the the family account, and they would have found me earlier, when it would have mattered. You didn't really believe she could've saved that much money, enough for me to buy a house, did you. Yes, it was on foreclosure, but think about it." I won't tell her about the rest of the payment. She might want to hit me up, or just hit me. Both she and my grandma would get a little too happy with the switch.
"I bet you will get a lot of money now, won't ya. That family was loaded, possibly even more now." And here it goes.
"It's too early to be sure. No one from the law offices were here to tell me. Or social work either. Holiday weekend and all. I won't know till Tuesday what has to happen. I might not get anything, if I don't remain Sam's caretaker. Any inheritance might be set up to take care of him, like the one that was supposed to take care of me. I don't know, and I won't know for a few days. So, I will wait to make any decisions."
"Take any money and run. This Sam will be just as bad as his father, especially being raised by him. Mark my words. " In the background, I think I hear someone calling her name, or maybe some coughing.
"Look, Chris. I have to go now. I've got someone over. We'll talk when you know more. Good-bye."
"Good night, mom."
"I love you." She hangs up on me. She knows I would never say "I love you" back at her.
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