Dada: Chapter 22

   "You weren't in the car.  You never even went to North Carolina."
    I wish I could sit down, or at least pace a little, but neither would be appropriate right now.  I just wish I had somewhere to put my hands.  I place them behind my back, but they swing back to the front almost immediately.  I don't want to cross them, because it wouldn't look good.  So, they hand loosely, idle beside me.
    "I finally got Sam to tell me everything.  Then I went to the lawyers, and everything just came out. I wish you had just made things easier, simpler.  But I figured it out.  I knew something was up, but I just couldn't see what it was.  So many small details I almost overlooked.  Inconsistencies.  Well, I know.  Maybe more than you think I know.
     "It started last September.  You were worried about Candi.  The police couldn't help you, because she was over eighteen and was keeping it contact with you.  At least partially.  You were literally worried sick.  One day, while teaching a class, you got a little dizzy.  You all but fainted.  You told the administration it was due to stress.  You took a few days off.
    "But you had a feeling.  A doctor examination proved it.  Cancer.  Blood cancer.  Not leukemia, another variety that I can't pronounce or spell.  Fortunately, it was caught early and had a high survival rate, with the right treatment.  That treatment was a bone marrow transplant.  Nothing too unusual.  Done every day.
    "Unfortunately, you didn't have a donor.  Your parents were dead.  Your dad had no siblings.  Your mom had a few, but they were all dead, too.  Their families didn't keep in contact with you after her death, but you felt that they were now dead as well, and many of their children.  You might have a second cousin out there, but you didn't know their names.  Didn't think they even lived in the country any more.  Your sister and brother died before they could have any children.  That left you with your own children.  Candi was in the wind, with no easy way to get her back.  She contacted you; you couldn't get in touch with her.  You didn't know where I was, or even if I was still alive.
    "That left Sam.  Sam, who might not be your biological son.  The only child you still had.  If you tested him, he could be a match.  But, you could also find out he wasn't yours.  You couldn't take losing the only child you still had.  You loved him too much to risk losing him.  So, you didn't test him.  You went with chemo instead, while waiting for Candi or another match.  With your uncommon blood type and unique heritage, finding one was not going to be easy.  Still, the chemo was working.  You got the university to give you the rest of the semester off.  Things weren't that bad.
      "You were all ready to get back to work in January.  Candi was still only sending emails and texts, the occasional letter dropped off from nowhere, never allowing you a way to response.  She made sure that you were out of her life.  Then, two weeks after Christmas, you collapsed.  You had gotten an infection.  They had to stop chemo for awhile so you could recover.  You got a sabbatical from the university, but you never told them it was really for medical reasons.  Just stress over Candi.
       "The infection was so bad that it left you too weak to climb the stairs.  You moved into one of the servant's rooms downstairs.  You had all of the family photos put in there so you could look at them whenever you wanted.  Even after the infection passed, you were too weak to go upstairs.  You had a walker that just barely allowed you to get through most of the downstairs.  The chemo wasn't working as well anymore.  You had to do something else."
      I pause.  I had practiced this in my mind for hours.  I don't want to leave anything out, except I have to.  This is the part that is going to hurt the most.
     "You called in your lawyers.  Your wife thought it was to make final preparations in case you wouldn't pull through.  That was part of it.  You also wanted the firm's investigation unit to look for Candi.  If the police couldn't help, maybe they could.  Your wife had discouraged you to do so earlier, but you were now desperate. So desperate that you even suggested they try looking for me again.  Something to hedge your bets on, or a final attempt to ask me for forgiveness.
     "That's when you found out about the initial attempts your father made.  They were getting close when he first got sick, but they were instructed to hold back.  The order didn't come from him, but from his personal nurse, you future wife.  It looks like she was going to try to get him to marry her, so she could get her hands on his fortune,  but he took a turn for the worse before she could marry him.  So, she turned to his only direct heir, you.  In a little over a year, you were engaged with one caveat, you had to stop looking for me.  It broke your heart, all over again.  Your were so needing love at that time of loneliness, that you accepted her demands and stopped looking for me."
    I stop again.  I could go on about some of the things that she did.  She set up a false trust fund for me, but the money went to your new clinic instead.  You "helped" along some of your miscarriages so that you wouldn't have to share your money with other heirs, besides your daughter since you only wanted a girl.  Never a boy, like all three babies that you lost.  You even were the one who planted the fake news story about the problems with the both the surrogate and the fertility clinic that led to your doubts about Sam.  Now is not the time for this.  I need to hurry, as I don't have that much time.
    "You continued your treatments, even as they started to lose their effectiveness.  You kept hope that  both Candi and I would be found. You managed to all but finish a painting, the one at the art fair where you met my mother. You even got to attend Sam's birthday party.  Things were hopeful.
     "Then, you got a miracle and a setback at the same time.  The investigators had found Candi.  She was living in Charlotte under an assumed name.  Strangely enough, the were only able to find her because she got arrested for prostitution.  But, they also got a lucky break.  Turns out, North Carolina was the last place we were living before moving back to Kentucky, and they found a lead back to me in Winston-Salem.  One man was sent back to get more information, while plans were made to get Candi out of jail.
      "That's when you collapsed again.  It was so bad that you had to be hospitalized.  Your wife would have to go to Charlotte on her own.  I can only imagine the argument you two had when she found out about the investigation.  Anyway, she would go, Sam would stay at a friend's house, and you would try and recover at the hospital.  You needed that bone marrow transfusion, and the sooner the better."